Barely Blink

Monday, June 11, 2012

Explosive Catholic Mass

I could Barely Blink when—in the middle of a Catholic Mass—a homeless redneck strolled into the cathedral and yelled, “They should rape Jacqueline Kennedy. She is a bitch!!” I suppose an evil spirit was upon that imbecile, or perhaps his mental facility deficient from Prozac. Who on earth goes into a house of worship and hurtle such repugnant words?

Holy Communion! I find those Catholics to be too damn civilized. The Bishop, Priests, Alter boy…nobody budged. Not even a single parishioner challenged to throw that lunatic out. Meanwhile, I resisted the urge to yell right back, “Get the fuck out!!”

I imagine those Catholics would not have mind my French amidst their Latin chant. But, two wrongs do not make a right, except…1 confession, 2 rosaries, 5 penances and 10 Hail Mary’s. Yeah, so… I opted to shut the hell up!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

A Million (Minus One) Hoodies Rally

As the nation takes a stand against Sanford, FL Police’s failure to arrest George Zimmerman, who shot and killed 17-year-old Trayvon Martin on February 26—in what he claims was self-defense—New York City staged a “Million Hoodies” march in protest of Martin’s shooting.

Martin, who was black, was wearing a hooded sweat shirt, carrying only a bag of Skittles, iced tea and his cell phone when 28-year-old Zimmerman, who is not black, shot and killed him.

The tragedy sparked questions of race issues, calling Martin’s death a hate crime, and causing the NAACP to address allegations of police misconduct within in the Orlando suburb where Martin was killed.

In the meantime, civil-rights activist the Rev. Al Sharpton is at the helm of a “Million Hoodies” rally planned for [today] Thursday in the community where Martin was killed.

I could Barely Blink when I ponder, that, if a life depended on the Rev. Sharpton covering his Madam C. J. Walker processed hair at a “Hoodies” rally, I am certain that life would be loss.

Copyright © 2012 Barely Blink. All Rights Reserved.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

10 Reasons Why ABC Would Not Have A Black Bachelorette

She would have a barrage of gold teeth or no teeth contestants.
ABC would need to hire an Ebonics to English translator.
She would get drunk drinking Alizé and cuss the producers of the show out.
A 1992 Cadillac Coupe de Ville, with loud base, big rims and insane hydraulics would roll-up to the mansion.
She would bring her Mama, Uncle Freddie, Cousin Ray-Ray, Aunt Willa-Mae and daughter Shenika to stay in the mansion.
She would host wild parties and have a bunch of Hip-Hop artist clad in wife-beaters with their trousers falling off their asses.
The menu would consist of Fried Chicken, Ham Hocks and Chitlins.
There would undoubtedly be a Ghetto brawl.
Karrine Steffans aka “Super-head” would try to become the next Bachelorette, in order to obtain material for the release of Confessions of a Video Vixen—Ghetto Love, but she would not succeed because…
ABC would perform a Jack Kevorkian and pull the fucking plug on the entire show!

I could Barely Blink as I wonder what would happen if ABC decided to have a Latina Bachelorette. Hmm…

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Boehner’s Politics—A Crying Game

What the fuck? Is politics in Washington, DC becoming a Crying Game? Speaker, John Boehner shed tears when he succeeded Speaker, Nancy Pelosi back in January 2011 to become the Republican Speaker of the House of Representatives. He cried again, just yesterday, when Congresswomen Gabrielle Gifford, who suffered a gunshot wound last year at the hands of a would-be assassin, resigned from public office.

Could someone change the channel from Days of Our Lives to Reality TV for Boehner? He should be crying over the nations 8.5 unemployment rate, or, the fact that folks like Mitt Romney are earning $42 million a year.

Somebody needs to throw Boehner’s ass a handkerchief, because he will Barely Blink and very much need it when President Obama is re-elected, and the Democrats take possession of the House once again in November.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Big Bad Housing Police

I am not sure that I understand the reason for Housing Authority Police, especially the part where they pull you over while driving.

With both hands on the staring wheel, she seemed like a driver stuck in traffic encumbered by the aftermath of a college football game. Humdrum, she waited for the cinnamon bun eating law enforcer to issue a citation.

What is the charge? I wondered. Did she leave the dishwasher on? Forgot to pay a utility bill? Left the cat on the balcony? Burned some water? And, why do we need Housing Authority Police for this? What happen to the regular State or County police?

“You are under arrest for living with a husband in a single family dwelling,” seems to be a possible oxymoronic citation issued by a department of the same.

I could Barely Blink as I ponder how government continues to waste taxpayers’ dollars with their bureaucratic bullshit.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

A Rat Attack

After 41 years of autocratic leadership,

Libya'

s fearless tyrant, Muammar Gaddafi was wounded, dragged and taunted in the streets just before he was shot and killed. Gaddafi, who had tortured, hung and brutally executed hundreds of innocent people, was found [hiding] down in his sewer pipe hours before his slaying.

Ironically, Gaddafi treated folks like rats and in the end he became a rat hiding in a sewer pipe. I bet he could Barely Blink when he discovered that his pre-Halloween rat-in-a-hole stunt was not going to fly with those angry Libyan fighters. Payback ain't a bitch. It's a fucking rat!

Trouble In Kardashian Paradise

Ha! After a 10 million dollar wedding and just two months of marriage, Kim Kardashian and her NBA hubby, Kris Humphries are calling it quits. The couple filed for a divorce sighting irreconcilable differences.

I've got to hand it to those Kardashians. Their publicity stunts are brilliant! But, this one comes in a few inches short of the Ray J sex-tape scandal. Humphries could Barely Blink when he discovered that his wife [Kim] had filed for a divorce. Poor dude. I guess he couldn't measure up to her hoop dreams. Too bad he signed a prenuptial, because Kim's got a whole lot of a$$ets.