Zimmerman Is The Man!!

A Florida jury delivered an excellent verdict [based on the evidence] acquitting George Zimmerman for the shooting death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin. The prosecution, on the other hand, screwed the fuck up! What a fucking waste of law school!

Speaking of “screwed,” the evidence suggests that Zimmerman did not have to kill Trayvon, he needed to! Here is why…

Zimmerman is corrupted by his own fucking demons, which may have led him to proposition Martin for a Sen. Larry Craig, “wide stance” tryst, and as Martin dismissed the indecent proposal, Zimmerman feared his reputation would be at stake, so he got out of his vehicle and followed Martin to muzzle him for good.

Martin, disgusted by Zimmerman’s queer proposition, could Barely Blink, and proceeded to beat the crap out of Zimmerman, until Zimmerman unfortunately fired the deadly shot.

Zimmerman… Duuuuude…You’re the man!! I fashion you as an O.J. Simpson, one who got away with murder, or a Kevin Clash, a puppeteer who begs little boys to “tickle me Elmo,” behind close doors.

 
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“Niederlage” for Serena Williams

Germany's C-list Tennis player, Sabine Lisicki served up a shocking defeat, beating World No.1 and five-time Wimbledon champion, Serena Williams.

Williams concede gracefully stating, "It's not a shock. She plays really good on grass,” yet, folks could Barely Blink!

Given the shocking defeat, one has to wonder whether Williams had a touch of German measles and became incapable of returning Lisicki’s balls. Perhaps, Williams should have bought a German Shepherd to scare Lisicki off, or feed her some savory German sausages just before the match.

Frankly, a marooned Lisicki stuck in a broken-down Volkswagen, somewhere in Germansville, would have secured a Williams win by default. However, I doubt whether Williams would join Lisicki for an early Oktoberfest celebration.

Glückwünsche, Lisicki!

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