Time For Some Sterling Problems In LA

The L.A. Clippers were on fire Saturday night when an alleged tape-recording of owner, Donald Sterling surfaced with racist remarks about Blacks. The team took to the court bearing T-shirts that read “White Out!” and turned their jerseys inside out in protest.

Frankly, I think this decrepit Sterling is misunderstood. Here is why...once a man, twice a child. You see, Sterling is nothing but a coffin dodger whose memory has tricked him into believing he lives in the 18^th Century with a biracial mistress who is in fact a fetus, and a bunch of cotton pickers who are actually respected professional athletes!

Come on America; don’t be so hard on the poor pissy-pants, Mr. Sterling. A racist needs therapy like most delusional patients. 

I recommend weekly sessions with Suge Knight and Snoop Lion at Shady Pines retirement home, supervised by Dr. Kevorkian. I bet that racist would…Barely Blink!

Copyright © 2014 Barely Blink. All Rights Reserved.

The Oscar Night

An unforgettable night – you may agree – was the 86th Academy Awards (the Oscars). Especially Ellen DeGeneres’ re-tweeted, star-studded selfie that crashed Twitter. But, apart from that, there was this…

 

Rapper, Pharrell Williams misses the memo on tuxedo night and shows-up dressed for a backyard barbecue. John Travolta completely mispronounces the name of Broadway actress, Idina Menzel, and Barkhad Abdi reveals a candid look of disappointment when he discovers he lost Best Supporting Actor to Jared Leto.

 

Then, there was this… It seemed befitting that Kim Novak would announce the Oscar for Best Animated Film, as she personified the word animated with the ridiculous level of Botox she obviously had. Frankly, she looked like a ventriloquist in drag.

Next, 20 Feet From Stardom, a documentary showcasing backup singers, brought [perhaps no surprise] a display of  a hollering Lady Sings The Blues amidst the Oscar win for Best Documentary.

Matthew McConaughey was just… not the man! He probably needed to bulk-up a bit more, avoid the 80s Grease hairstyle and ditch his white, oversized, butler’s suit. Dude looked a tad bit like a Texas Redneck.

And, finally…What the hell was up with Julie Roberts in that black laced dress? In the words of Joan Rivers, “When you see a woman in this much lace, she looks like she’s going to bury a Kennedy.” That was my least favorite Red Carpet dress. Man, I could Barely Blink when I think of how much better Aunt Gretel’s doily looks.

Copyright © 2014 Barely Blink. All Rights Reserved.

Holy Matrimony!

I could Barely Blink when I woke-up in a hotel room in Vegas with a wedding ring on my finger and a gorgeous creature lying beside me.  Fox5 was streaming Super Bowl XLVIII on the entertainment box in my room. 3rd Quarter, and the Super-dogs, Denver Broncos were down by zero to the Underdogs, Seattle Seahawks.

In that moment, I did not care whether the Bull-dogs were playing the Hot-dogs, my curiosity hinged on the gorgeous creature lying beside me and the wedding band on my finger. Sobriety is a bitch the day after a drunken stupor, and reality was possibly the one lying beside me.

My clothes were missing, head was aching…urgent care, Medicare, any care! Hell, I would have fancied Obamacare, anything to ease my headache and unravel the mystery.

Then, the gorgeous creature woke, turned, and looked at me. Holy Matrimony! She had hair on her fucking chest!!

Copyright © 2014 Barely Blink. All Rights Reserved.